porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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