Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
