I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
