i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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