you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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