My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
