all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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