So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize