I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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