She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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