In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize