We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
