I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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