Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
