Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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