she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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