Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
