I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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