Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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