Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
