Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize