I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
