But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
