I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
