Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
