2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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