Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize