I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
