So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
