Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
