Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
