Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
