better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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