FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
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