Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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