I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
