At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
