im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
