Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
