Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
we're so committed to being not committed
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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