At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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