I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
