dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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