i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
