Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
