I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
