Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
