I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
