yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize