If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
