Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize