My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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