Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
