Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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