Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
