the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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