so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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