Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize