hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
