his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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