3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
