your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
