still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
