i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
