as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
