so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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