Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
