By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
