took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
