Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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