seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
