so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My pussy is not your playground.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
