I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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