is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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