That's when you crack a 10am beer
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My ass is underappreciated
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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