at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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