Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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