i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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