Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
