It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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