You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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