I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
